How to Be Present With Your Kids When You’re Having a Hard OCD Day

As mom who has OCD, I know the feeling all too well. The feeling of dread when an intrusive thought comes up, the panic rises, and you think “ugh, not today.”

When I became a mom I quickly learned that I hated how my anxiety from my OCD was taking away time I could be spending being present with my kids.

In fact, I became quite literally obsessed with wanting to feel “present enough” or make sure I was “enjoying the moment” especially when my kids were babies. I would feel panicked and anxious at the thought of one day “missing these moments” because of my OCD.

As I began to work through this struggle in my own therapy at the time years ago, I began to realize and learn that not only was I setting really high expectations for myself, but I also was missing the point. I began to shift my perspective on a few things and honestly, motherhood with OCD got a lot easier.

1. I redefined what being truly “present” meant

I realized that you don’t need to feel calm, peaceful, or emotionally regulated to be present.

Presence doesn’t mean:

• being blissfully happy

• loving every second

• having no intrusive thoughts

• being fully focused

• never feeling overwhelmed

Presence simply means:

**“I am here, doing the next right thing, with my child.” (**Even if your OCD is chattering in the background.)

For moms with OCD, presence often looks like showing up imperfectly — not showing up quietly.

2. I stopped being ruled by my “feelings”

When your OCD is loud, it’s usually trying to pull you inside — to analyze, scan, solve, protect.

I-CBT teaches that when you shift from your inner world (thoughts, feelings, doubts) to your outer world (senses), the intrusive noise loses its power.

Practical ways that this can look like throughout the day:

• Notice the warmth of your child’s body when they sit on your lap.

• Feel the texture of their hair or the weight of their hand.

• Notice 3 colors around the room.

• Listen to their voice instead of listening to your fear.

Basically, I learned that being present isn’t a feeling but rather a choice. You just need to anchor your attention to what’s real right now.

3. I dropped the pressure to “make memories”

This is where so many moms (including myself) with OCD get stuck:

“If I’m not fully present, I’m going to miss their childhood.”

“This moment is slipping away — am I appreciating it enough?”

“Other moms seem so in-the-moment. Why can’t I be like that?”

This pressure often becomes its own kind of obsession — a frantic need to “capture” or “feel” the moment perfectly….and this is exactly what happened to me.

Your relationship with your child is built on thousands of tiny interactions, not perfect mental stillness.

4. Stop Trying to Wait for the Anxiety to Pass

This one is huge.

Many moms try to get fully calm before engaging with their child:

“I’ll play with them after this intrusive thought goes away.”

“Once the anxiety settles, then I’ll be present.”

But anxiety feeds on avoidance.

Showing up while your brain is loud — rocking the baby, folding laundry, reading a book — teaches your mind:

I can be a present mother even when my thoughts are messy.

I don’t need perfect emotional conditions to engage.

That’s recovery.

That’s resilience.

That’s presence.

So let this be your reminder that you don’t have to miss out on being present as a mom just because of your OCD. I know it can feel so hard at times, especially when your OCD is loud. But recovery is possible.

Inside my online course, Navigating OCD in Motherhood, I walk you through how to stop the OCD spiral, so that you never have to spend the day stuck in your head instead of being present with your child. Enrollment is now open, click the link below to save your spot. https://ocdinmotherhood.com

always rooting for you,

xo taylor